Like a child

A note in honour of children's day

I never wanted to grow up. My earliest memory of childhood was a day before my 4th birthday. My dad and I sat outside in our compound and I remember asking him if I was going to grow old. He said yes.

I lost it. 

I stomped my feet and got angry. I don't think I cried, but heck, I was pissed. Very, very pissed. 

At this point dear reader, I officially declare the years 13 and 16 the worst years of my life because I definitely do not plan to have anymore days as dark as those years. I was a teenager, yet i felt like an eighty year old woman carrying the weight of the world. 

It sucked. 

I remember having a conversation with a friend where he said he thought the conversations I had with myself in my teenage years were weird, because they were just too advanced for someone that age, and looking back now, I agree. 

I really, really do. 

In many wellness spaces, there's this conversation about reconnecting with your inner child. I'm an adult now, however, maybe it's because I've come to realize that the hard life is not for me and that I "just wan soft", I look at my life and the stillness I've been cultivating and honestly, I feel like I don't take life that seriously anymore. Of course, I don’t operate on vibes and cruise, but I also don’t carry all the weight of the world anymore.

There are anxieties that comes with adulting definitely, but just as a child would not stress too much over certain details, I've been learning to deal with life without obsessing so much on the details and the many things I can't control. I think the stillness that's associated with childhood is something even as adults, we can and should cultivate. 

After all, e get why Jesus would call the children to come to him and says we need to become just like little children. The simplicity, the innocence of childhood is beautiful and in this crazy world of adulting, I think it's something we all need because fellow travelers, the streets are wilddd!

So, fellow adult, reconnect with your inner child. Find something that brings you joy; be it an hobby, a song that reminds you of simpler times, a movie, a ritual etc. There's so much beauty around even in the chaos, and you might only be able to see it if you look at life the way a child would.